Quote of Inspiration

I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Atilla and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.

Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

Monday, November 15, 2010


I have not been meditating. I know. I'm cringing.

I skipped one night, and then I skipped another night and then I thought to hell with it, I'd have to start over anyway. And there it is. I've not been meditating.

The thing about it is that it's really hard. I'm not sure why. It's only 10 minutes a day, and I do it when the kids are asleep and the house is quiet. But it's hard. I sit there and try to quiet my mind, and that's exhausting. It's not relaxing. I thought it would be relaxing, and I'd be all Zen about it, my knees crossed, my fingers held out just-so. But it's hard on my back, and focusing on my breathing isn't at all fun, and then my mind goes wandering down roads that have been left for so long they're now unpaved - for good reason. I hate those roads.

But I will start again. Tonight. I will start again because it's hard and when things are hard (especially mental things) that's usually when we need to commit to them the most. I'm not so good about doing the hard stuff, which is why there are still those unpaved roads.



  1. Ok, I have to admit. I imagined you meditating, in bed, on your back. Just closing your eyes and clearing your mind. That sounds so relaxing. Twisting yourself up and sitting up straight sounds like 'one more thing I have to get done' on a daily to-do list. Maybe try it in your own way, the journey to relaxation is partly how you get there, you could say.

  2. Brooke,

    Your description of "one more thing I have to get done" is EXACTLY how it felt. I'll try it my way again........

  3. Yo! I agree with Brooke--maybe sit in a comfortable chair or lie on the floor and listen to Enya. Sounds better to me! xoxoxoxo, Mom


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